I sit on my throne of crumpled laundry.
And then I forget.
I read of thrones of glory.
And then I forget.

Why do I exist?
I am an excellent consumer.
What point is there of me?
I am still an excellent consumer.

I don't produce.
Nothing in numbers.
Nothing to thanks.
Nothing to remember.

I need help remembering.
Why I ever wanted to help.
Why I ever cared for people.
Why they ever cared for me.

I am drifting to a dangerous place.
I am listing at a strangers pace.
I am flailing at an unknown space.
Tired of grasping at empty chase.

Routine has me right now.
But when that falters where will I go?
When time changes where will I flow?
When money is unimportant...it always is.

I just want to be able to feel again.
Put my synapses back in please.
Make my nerves function as they should.
Make my brain half way decent.

A life time of trying to make myself less has succeeded?
Have I finally reached that pinnacle of success?
No.  I am still better than everyone I speak too.
Now, just trapped in here by myself.
Use your words and you will prosper?
What is prosper?
More money?  I know I have that.
More respect?  They should know that already.
More effort?  We know that I can't do that...hardwired.  
If we try too hard they will know that I am too great for them.
Don't be cast aside because of your greatness.

Put on that face of regular.
Everyday.
Wait for the time to happen when you can let everyone know.
That the truth is upon them.
The truth comes with a fake smile and weird small talk.

Signed,
The Person You Once Knew And Will Know